Thursday, May 11, 2006

have edited this post. ask me for my new blog add. =) thru msn or sms. or even frenster.
will stiu blog here once in a while. i dowan to abandon this blog though.

sam speaks @ 5/11/2006 11:20:00 AM

it wasnt my wish too. but i donwan to look back anymore. the things i have been doing recently is so stupid. y do love always hurt. WHY. someone tell me why? hate to say these la. but life jus sucks big time when bad things happen again and again. WTF. i hate all these happening. from that stupid relation(dono whether was it really a real one) to failing my o levels and to my brother's accident which even lead to his death. i jus hate all these happening. but there's nth i can do can i? i feel devastated man. suddenly i jus lose all hope in life. things are jus so beyond prediction. nvr did expect my life to take such a big turn, YES A BIG BIG TURN. when i am onli 17. fuck. i lost all hope ever since my Bro ended his life journey. but again, dad and mum were the onli reasons that i am staying alive. plus brother wouldnt wan me to thk that way. and he always want me to study hard and be someone useful. i wont cry.(how fake)

my brother is such a innocent person... i believed that he havent did something bad enough to had his life taken away. i was the evil one. i can even curse my own brother.. didnt know was it bcos of me or wat. if it was, i will be his slave my nxt life.. together with dad and mum, jus that i am the slave of the family. i deeply regret. regretting is worst off then heart breaking.the pain is beyond description. nvr regret anything. u will wanna die. i really hope to see my brother again, is that ever possible again? I CANT BELIEVE HE'S DEAD. CAN ANYONE TELL ME HE'S NT. EVERYTIME I BOARD THE TRAIN AND PASS BY HIS ACCIDENT PLACE, I BREAK DOWN. ALL E TIME I CRY. I CANT TAKE IT. I CANT ACCEPT THE FACT. CAN NVR ACCEPT THE TRUTH. I HATE MYSELF. WHY DO I HAVE TO UNDERGO THIS KIND OF PAIN.. ITS UNFAIR... PLS LET ME SEE MY BROTHER AGAIN. I REALLY MISS HIM THAT BADLY.

sam speaks @ 5/11/2006 10:15:00 AM


Saturday, April 29, 2006

1 year of break up... stiu hanging on.

sam speaks @ 4/29/2006 06:37:00 PM

jus feel that i have found out too many things.. i realise that the love i had put in the previous love was a wastage of time. i felt as if i was like a idiot. i didnt know why i had to put in that much love for him. when everything jus ended that fast. all the love had dissipated into thin air. i hate to say this but i no longer can trust the word, love. from stranger to frens to good frens to lovers to stranger again. i tot of nt confessing this love as i dowanna lose such a good fren. for my case, when 2 stranger met, they become gd frens, to BGR to strangers again. i find it stupid. y do guys have to always do that. even the cant continue anymore, we stiu could be frens... but i find that its impossible for him. till todae, i feel that it was somebody else telling me all the promises.... i wasnt him a all i thought. becos i trust him to make his words true... but all turn out to be fake. all love had disappeared all of a sudden. like me, i had disappeared in the world of happiness. drowning myself in agony and pain there's almost nth that can make me happy again except my parents and frens. my parents are the ones who keep me by their heart eceryday. no one else i can say. as for my brother... i am sure he keep all of us rite by his side.... although today is the day that he have to report to anoher dimension, but i stiu believe having him ard us, all e time.

i am in a lousy mood as usual.

sam speaks @ 4/29/2006 06:21:00 PM


Thursday, April 27, 2006

stiu havn gt over the past relationship and there's one more blow for me... life is nvr the same for me again... never without my brother... cant believed he is that strong yet he had to part all of us so soon... i miss him terribly. i regretted for nt cherishing him. i blame myself... i rant and i rant. but there's nthing which can heal me... i hate myself for nt cherishing my dearest brother until he's gone. i tear everyday and night, i cant get over his death... there's no way i can.... i regretted for all the quarrels... i wasnt given a chance to respect him again.. never knew how important was he to me until i relly lost him... brother, i really love u and miss u... wont u appear in my dreams again...? we all do... papa and mama miss u too.. hope u're doing alrite in another dimension. love u always.


mei.

sam speaks @ 4/27/2006 10:59:00 PM


Thursday, July 14, 2005

in fren house. yup thats y can blog...



miss my dearest loads.
its always u and me... =D
its so long since we last seen each other... but u're always on my mind..,.

116 days to o lvl....
guys... work hard.. i know its tough... yes its hell... but its only.... [a few months of hell to yrs of heaven...] its worth going thru the hell nw instead of going it thru later.... we have to be together working hard. 31 students yet 1 goal. 5N1. all the best. =)

1004. alwaes going on. its wat love is. my boi...

i noe i have been giving my frens all those shitty attitude. thanks for tolerating.. i jus... miss my dearest terribly... nth else.... yeah..

i'll wait for my dreams to come true.
its another point of view
turn back time and you'll find
you're always on my mind
you'll be here
and i've no fear
the time is right
just show me the light........

i've heard it... i knew it... i felt it...

sam speaks @ 7/14/2005 09:31:00 AM


Monday, May 09, 2005

wooo. i am back here to blog. well well. my internet was having porbs. but nw i am back.

oh my. i miss my dear so much. =S hope he's nt so tired aft all. =D
well dear if u're reading my blog, jus wanna tell u i love u loadssssssss... LOADS.... XD
and hor. i miss u so muchhh lehhh. wonder hw will i pass my days without u.

well to my classmates. all the best to all of ya k? mid yr exams are here. and i know all of us are trying our best to do wat we can. but todae paper kinda sucks. down with fredrick yong. zzzzz.. nvm. i'll work on paper 2. nw scribbling ss notes like siao char bor. no choice. guess my history cant make it. have to get at least 35/50 for ss. i wanna pass. or rather get at least a b4 for that.

DEARRRRRRRRR, tmr marks e first month of our LOVE. =D sadly both of us aint free. but nvm. we still have a long way to go! we can celebrate anytime yeah? hmm. jus wanna tell u, no matter wat comes our way, i'll nvr give up on our love. and i love u for lifee. if theres forever, i'll love u forever. xDDDD our love is strong. we will walk our long long way ahead. my love for u nvr die. =D ai si ni le. xP

sam speaks @ 5/09/2005 09:10:00 PM


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

sorry guys. haven been blogging these days. internet tio suspension cos of my bro. zzz.. hmmm... in sch nw. thats why can blog. LOLOLLLOOL. well.. weather haven been good nowadays, do take care of urself okaes? XDD will be blogging ard if i hvae time. and exams are ard the corners. study hard ok!

to all my classmates.
lets work towards our goal together. poly is where we will be. =D
lets beat YISHUN TOWN SEC. WE WILL BE THE BEST BATCH OF 5NA EVER OK? WORK HARD TOWARDS OUR GOAL. 31 students. but 1 GOAL. take care dudes...

i miss euuu...

cya ard. tk care.

sam speaks @ 4/19/2005 09:11:00 AM


Thursday, April 07, 2005

don provoke me for this whole month.
in a seriously bad mood.
she miss her baby.
she miss him terribly.

******************* WARNING *******************
-KEEP OUT-

i took care of myself. but y do i stiu fall sick and made him worry.
its totally nonsense. am i breaking down?
no i cant. promise him that i wont break down b4 he come back.
i love u yes i do. and onli u.
haii.
came down with cough, sore throat, heavy flu.
low blood.zzzzzzz..

sam speaks @ 4/07/2005 03:14:00 PM